


The only one I need

by Hatchico



Series: Shizaya one-shots [7]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: M/M, Obsessive Behavior, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-05-20 14:57:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19379035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hatchico/pseuds/Hatchico
Summary: Shizuo would do anything to make his brother happy. Whatever Izaya would request of him he would do with little to no complaint. He loved him so much that it hurt.The small touchesThe soft innocent kissesShizuo didn't know how much longer his heart would be able to take it





	The only one I need

"Shizu-chan can you buy me some Otoro? I'm starving." Shizuo's little brother whined as he clung to the blond's arm

"Didn't I buy you some last week?"

"Yes, but I've just been craving it. I don't think I could eat anything else," he said with a pout

He knew that his brother didn't like to make him unhappy, he'd known that for a while now and had been using that knowledge to his advantage for years now. He always wondered though just why Shizuo cared so much about him and why he had never told him no. Even when they were little he barely remembers Shizuo ever really telling him no save for a few times he tried to get Shizuo to do something that would embarrass himself.

Was he really that affectionate? Did Shizuo and he just have a really strong brotherly bond? The possibilities were practically boundless. Still, it had crossed Izaya's mind that it may be more than brotherly love that drives Shizuo to act the way he does and that in itself was something he didn't know how to feel about. Of course, it's not like Shizuo ever made a move on him and as far as he knows he hadn't tried to take advantage of him at any point of their lives. He couldn't imagine Shizuo doing something so heinous anyways.

They walked side by side, Izaya still clinging to him as they walked towards a little sushi restaurant. Shizuo reached his hand into his pocket and checked his wallet making sure he had enough. Ever since he and Izaya moved out they decided it'd be easier to live together. While Shizuo had a stable job as a bartender Izaya was constantly quitting his job within weeks always saying he was bored and that he'd find a new one. Shizuo knew it wouldn't be hard for his little brother with how smart he was but it did give them a financial strain that they wouldn't have if Izaya could just stick with an occupation.

They entered the small restaurant and ordered to go. Well, Shizuo ordered for Izaya who was looking around the place seemingly admiring the paintings.

"Shizu-chan you're not getting anything?" He suddenly asked

"Of course not. We have food at home."

"Do you want me to share?"

"Only if you want to."

"Shizu-chan! Why must I always make the decision? A simple yes or no will suffice."

Shizuo turned to him just as the lady awkwardly handed him his change and asked, "Lover's spat?"

Shizuo turned back to her and blushed, "Uh, n-no I-he's..."

She smiled "It's fine. Lover's argue once in a while. It's normal."

The two just stood there not knowing what to say and Shizuo just grabbed the food when it arrived and forced it into his hands before walking out, his hand was already reaching in his pocket for his pack of cigarettes.

Izaya followed after him looking worried, he tried to reach out to him but Shizuo simply swatted his hand away as he lit up a cigarette and inhaled the nicotine in deeply. Izaya could see how flushed he looked and was powerless to do anything but watch as Shizuo tried to calm himself down without getting violent.

"Shizuo...it was just a misunderstanding. No need to get so riled up."

"Damn..."

"Are you okay?"

"Do we really look like a couple?"

Izaya paused not knowing how to respond to such a question.

"I'm not sure...I don't really focus on things like that. What do you think?"

"I wish..." He slipped out

"What?"

Shizuo turned to him and quickly turned away, "Nothing..."

"That was not nothing Shizuo. You know you can talk to me right?"

"I know."

"Than what's wrong? Why are you like this?"

"Like what?" Shizuo asked suddenly becoming worried, "Did I upset you? Oh god, I'm so sorry Izaya."

"That's exactly it! You care way too much about my feelings. Quit worrying so much I'm fine."

"I just want you to be happy. Is that so wrong?"

"It is if you have to sacrifice your own happiness for mine! For god sake Shizuo your life doesn't have to revolve around mine!"

"It's not revolving around yours. I'm just trying to be nice. I want to be a good brother."

"I don't believe you," Izaya said finally deciding to test his theory.

"What do you mean?"

"You want more than that, don't you? You...want me to love you more than a brother."

Izaya was waiting for him to deny, god how long he waited but Shizuo was just frozen, he didn't say a word to him and that made Izaya take a step back.

"You can't be serious Shizuo. That's sick!"

Shizuo opened his mouth but Izaya interrupted him taking another step back, "I'm your brother Shizuo! You would think that would deter your feelings a bit."

"You're one to talk! Always touching and kissing me!"

"I-I don't kiss you like that! Our parents raised us to be affectionate. If you were uncomfortable you should have told me to stop."

"That's the thing Izaya, I liked it. Don't you get it? I like it when you're affectionate because I love you so damn much it hurts."

He grabbed Izaya's hand and pulled him back towards him, "You don't know what your love does to me, do you? You mean so much to me Izaya. That will never change. I want you to love me back, I really want you to. I know it's selfish to ask that from you but I've been selfish all my life. Everything I've done wasn't just for you. I did it because I wanted to give you a reason to stay with me. I want to be with you...forever."

Izaya tried to slide his hand out of Shizuo's but he just tightened his hold.

"You're not good for me Izaya. But I still want you."

He pressed his lips against the other's, not a harsh kiss but a kiss that was similar to the soft kisses that they gave each other when they were kids. It made Izaya want to scream and cry and just curse his brother for ruining their relationship. He wanted to call him disgusting for even having these feelings but he just couldn't. No matter how much his head screamed at him to run his heart seemed to ache at the thought of leaving his brother. 

He didn't know what to do he was just frozen as Shizuo kissed him. It hurt so much and yet when Shizuo pulled away he couldn't help but follow him if only for a few moments.

"Izaya...stay with me. I'll treat you like a deity. It's what you deserve. It's what you want."

Izaya knew Shizuo was just putting words in his mouth and yet it sounded so perfect to him and his face twisted into a smile, Izaya knew now exactly who Shizuo was. He was a simple man with selfish desires to go as far as to make his own brother dependent on his love to get by in life and now Izaya couldn't refuse his love as disgusting as it was. He needed his brother, he could even go far as to say he craves him. Nobody in his life had ever treated him like Shizuo does and he knew nobody else ever would.

So, he kissed him back violently, it was a heated kiss filled with both hatred and love.

He loved his brother and yet now, he hated him. He knew that they were going to use each other in this relationship but he realized that they've been using each other all their lives.

So, while things have changed, they also had stayed exactly the same.

And they were both happy with that.


End file.
